Mejico al Gringo: May 2011

Days 118-123... Sibling Vacation in Tulum.

About the middle of my stay in Mejico, the 2 things I missed most were my family and the beach (close third was a real hamburger, but whatever). Lucky to have the family that I do, 3 of my sisters agreed to meet me for a sibling vacation in Tulum. Plans were set so that we'd meet in Cancun, drive south to and vacation in Tulum, and then leave Mejico together to celebrate Thanksgiving back in the Land of the Free. (Special thanks to sister Hannah for coordinating and organizing the trip.) We even managed to talk our cousin Shaina into coming along. The stage was set for a perfect sibling vacay at the playa.

So a week before Thanksgiving, I caught the 4am bus to Mexico City and hopped on a plane to Cancun, where I rendezvoused with the girls. They beat me to Cancun by an hour or so and took the initiative to get the rental car sorted out. When they picked me up at the terminal, I was dressed in my finest Panama Jack attire (probably pictured somewhere below).

I want to point out that my sisters deplaned, collected their bags, found the bus to the rental lot, rented a car, and then made their way back to the airport to scoop me up. They will swear up and down that I was the translator on this trip (they even nicknamed me Papa Azucar), but that was true only because they LET me show off my meager Spanish skills. Cancun and the surrounding tourist areas are pretty Americanized. My broken Spanish probably did more harm than good. More on this later.

After a brief debacle at the check-in counter, we managed to upgrade to the LUXURIOUS Zanzibar suite, which featured private: pool, cabañas, hammocks, and kitchen. The negotiation process began with the manager (a young Dutchman) angrily accusing us of trying to swindle him for the more expensive accommodations, but somehow ended with him happily handing us the keys and informing us that Zanzibar was "clothing optional." (Thanks...) You would be correct if you guessed that I was largely uninvolved in moving that debate from point A to point B.

The rest of the 5-day vacation went flawlessly, with pictures below to prove it. The weather wasn't always sunny, but that provided time to enjoy a shaded hammock and a book, or mixed drinks and conversations on the couches shielded from the persisting rain. When it was sunny, we ventured to the beach, the nearby ruins, and the small city center for some shopping.

In typically predictable fashion, the time flew by, and before we knew it the rental car was packed and we were driving north on the 1.5 hr stretch of highway towards the Cancun airport. And this is where the vacation got interesting?

At this point, I had lived in Mexico for 4 months. I had seen some highs (bull fights, futbol, bigotes), and I had seen some lows (food poisoning, no hot water, no water at all). I was still a gringo in every sense of the derogatory word, but I knew the lay of the land. Which means I knew that traffic laws (laws in general) were neither followed nor enforced. So when driving back to Cancun we encountered some traffic cones, I did what ANY Mexican would do: I laughed and went around the cones. But what any Mexican would NEVER have done--and what I could not have avoided as a gringo--was get caught.

In less than a minute after the traffic infraction had clumsily been maneuvered, the girls politely pointed out that there was a cop tailing us and that his lights were clearly on. Being the voice of experience, I calmly told them that cops ALWAYS drive with their lights on. You're really only in trouble when they yell at you through the megaphone. "Yeah, he's already doing that too."

We pulled over, and I talked with the police officer through the window for a while. I thought I'd buddy up to him in Spanish, he'd be amazed that a gringo had actually taken the time to learn his language, and then we'd do some sort of bro-handshake before he let me go with a pat on the back. Negative, ghost rider. He explained that he was taking my license and that I had to pay a fine to get it back. When I suggestively mentioned that we were en route to the airport and did not have time for that, he smiled and said:

"Oh, you just want to pay it now?"

I felt defeated handing him the 1800 pesos (~$150 USD), but that feeling quickly dissolved when I saw La Policia Federal arrive on the scene. Their navy blue Dodge Charger stopped next to our rental and two men disembarked. The driver climbed out first, looking self-important and smug, and I immediately disliked him. I forgot all about him, however, when I saw the guy climbing out of the back with his flack jacket, combat boots, and assault rifle. My first thought was, "Ahh, this escalated quickly!" And perhaps it's tempting to think that Mejico takes their traffic violations VERY seriously, but the truth be told, Mejico just takes very seriously their opportunities to take advantage of gringos.

The two cops argued amongst themselves for a minute or two before I plucked up the courage to excuse myself to continue towards the airport. The first cop was saying that he had let me off with a warning, and the Federali was upset that I hadn't been fined. I guess that story was technically true--I had received no traffic citation. Regardless, I cut my losses and fled the scene, telling myself that while the bribe was not ideal, it was easily the lesser of two evils when compared to any other outcome.

We all made it back to the US without any further hiccups. This trip to Tulum really was one of my favorites to date. I expect that I'll someday be making another visit to those sandy beaches, though I will likely be forced to forge my own clothing optional deal with the Dutchman.

Thanks again for making the trip, girls. It really meant a lot to me, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything, including that 1800 pesos "traffic fine." Love you. Here are a few of my favorite pics that survived the trip. Rach, you'll recognize the "Off-color / Brooklup" one. I don't think I've laughed that hard since.

On the beach, looking back towards the cabanas.

My beautiful sisters and cousin. Sorry this isn't the best picture of you all, but it is the only picture I have of all of you? Go figure, the rest are all myspace shots of myself...